I’ve noticed in many relationships, that there are some very extreme control issues.
When I was married long ago, every morning my wife would get up and make a list of what she needed to accomplish that day. She was extremely organized. She also made a list for me. At the end of the day, she would say she accomplished everything on her list. She would then ask me how I did.
I told her repeatedly, that I lost my list. She’s a Capricorn: very organized, controlling, bossy and loving at the same time. I haven’t been married in over 40 years, and I’m rather happy.
This morning, I went to visit a friend. She’s a Sagittarius like me. Her husband is a Capricorn. He had a whole list of things she should be doing. She was very frustrated and exhausted. I guess she didn’t know how to lose the list.
In relationships, there’s always one or the other who wants to be in charge. And although she complained about my newly grown beard, her husband said that she complains about far more. This happens in relationships. It’s not good or bad, but there’s always a dominant and a passive person. If not, it won’t work.
In a relationship, if a female is a feminist and wants equal everything – unless the man is somewhat passive – it won’t work. Same thing if the guys is a total boss and wants to command his mate around, and the person wants to stand up. The relationship is going to fall apart.
Some time ago, my friend’s wife made a strange demand of my friend. I don’t remember what it was exactly, but I asked him why he would ever go along with such a request from his wife. He said you just have to know how to choose your battles. Some things aren’t worth fighting about.
I eat an 80% healthy diet: organic, vegetarian, drug and alcohol free. This keeps me healthy and young. But on my recent trip to Portugal, I visited many wineries and drank wine at every lunch and every dinner. Although it’s not my habit, every so often, I’ll drink some wine, smoke a cigar or eat a lamb chop. This doesn’t upset my balance.
As long as you’re eating a healthy diet 80% of the time, exercising 80% of the time and have a good attitude 80% of the time, you’ll be in good shape.
The hardest thing for me when I went to school was when my teachers talked about moderation. I tend to be obsessive compulsive: in my studies, exercise, diet and life. This is a form of rigidity that ages you quicker than you need to. The rigidity in our lives causes hardening of our arteries, stubbornness, inflexibility and we also get angry and exhausted.
Going back to relationships, unless there’s comprise, one of the people will get burnt out which leads to dis-ease, sadness, grief, worry and resentment. How can you find balance?
You have to give and take. You have to make time to do your own thing. Get up early in the morning while your mate is still asleep, meditate and exercise. Eat a diet that serves you and do what you enjoy doing that improves your overall well-being. You can be in a relationship that’s fun, exciting, restricting or even over-bearing, as long as you can do your own thing, you can make it work.
Wishing you the best in your health, wealth and happiness.
Dr. Wu Dhi
P.S. As I mentioned in my last blog, the cold and flu season is upon us, come in and get your natural anti-cold and flu injection and stay healthy all fall and winter. Call us at 305-407-0120 now to schedule your appointment.
