I have worked with thousand of different people
over the years and most are kind, caring, very
loving, grateful and have respectful for
everything and everyone in their life. Others just
don’t get it at all, they think they are entitled
to everything and have the “Me first attitude” and
eventually they fall into a rut of one kind or
Last week a psychologist that I work with send me
a patient that she need help with. He is a
very talented singer, whose voice is incredible,
and they say he had perfect pitch. He can sing
anything from opera to the blues to show tunes and
he even sings in 3 or 4 different languages.
Although he is a real talent he can’t hold a job,
or stay in a relationship for more that a few
months. He was given everything he wanted and as
a child, if he didn’t get his way he’d cry and
cry until his parents gave in. Now as a young
adult, he’s the same spoiled brat that his parents
trained him to be. If he doesn’t get what he wants
he bitches and complains and throws a fit. His
family blows his behavior off, saying that he is
just a “temperamental artist.” Over the last few
week’s, he was stressed to the max
and his psychologist sent him to me.
He reported being angry, sad, lonely and now very
depressed. He’s popping anti- anxiety pills all day
just to function and now has heart burn, can’t
sleep and is afraid to leave the house alone..
When working with someone like this, we have to
look at the source or the root of the problem. He
was brought up in a family that never disciplined
him and always gave in to his whining demands. His
mother always took her only son’s side and drove a
wedge in her marriage as well. He was spoiled to
the point where he’s now dysfunctional.
Unfortunately, he had no respect for his parents, nor for
himself and for the most part doesn’t have any
Everyone wants to be respected; But to get it you
have to show respect for others first.
The first thing to do is stop focusing on yourself
and start thinking about others. When we start to
help others, it inspires change, and growth, in
Here is a good approach to get started on a good
path to unwind years of just bad habits. Begin by
thinking about the people that you have great
respect for. When you think about them, ask yourself
what do they do differently from your own behavior?
This will start to get your head in the right place
Here are a few pointers I shared with the young
1. Start looking at the breakdowns in your life.
Use your own skills and resources to start getting
things done and solve problems. Get in the habit
of figuring things out for yourself.
2. Keep your word ;This is by far one of the most
important actions you can take to start gaining
respect. Your word is the most powerful tool you
have for good or evil. It’s up to you how you use
3. Always keep your commitments and promises. If
you find yourself having trouble with too many
things on your plate, make fewer promises.
4. Stop making excuses no one wants to hear your
excuse anyway. Either do what you said you are
going to do or don’t say it. We all make mistakes
that affect others you can apologize to them and
get on with it.
5. Your time is not your own.
If you respect others’ time, they will respect
yours. Come on time or even a little early for
appointments and you will see a shift in the
people you work with and in your relationships
5. End gossiping, it will bite you in the back
sooner or later. If you want to be respected,
respect others—even if you don’t like there style.
When you talk behind people’s backs, you and your
reputation will quickly become tainted.
6. Live by the code; you may be asking yourself
“what the heck is the code?”.
It’s your own personal code in life.
*What do you believe in?
*What’s important to you?
*What makes you want to change the world?
As you ask yourself these questions they will help
you discover your own personal moral code.
7. Be active and add value to every situation-
Whether you’re part of a team, an organization, or
a group of friends, you can be respected if you
offer value to the situation and to others. Always
leave things better than the way you found them.
Andrew and I are working together a few days a
week. At the last session he asked me how long
will this take before he is better? I told him
this, if it’s just me working on you it may take
years, but if you are working with me, we can do it
in a few months or even weeks.
I wish you the best in your health, wealth and
Dr. Wu Dhi
PS. This coming Sunday, I will be teaching the
Recharging Qi Gong exercises at the Unity Church
by the Sea in Miami at 1:00 if you are in the neighborhood,
please stop by you will be glad you did.